Friday, February 20, 2009

Guest Columnist: Gianna's Year End Awards

Since the two of us don't get out much anymore - thanks to our beloved child - we're handing over the reins to share Gianna's thoughts about the year in movies that was 2008:

The Films

Best Picture(tie)

WALL-E/Slumdog Millionaire

Worst Picture

The Women

One Film I Never Considered Seeing for a Moment(tie)

Witless Protection/Beverly Hills Chihuahua

Thank God Eli Roth took some time off this year or it would have been a three-way tie.

Most Enjoyable Flick

Tropic Thunder

Best Guilty Pleasure Movie

Mamma Mia

There’s something very enjoyable watching Oscar winners/nominees shed there dignity with such abandon

Best Picture I Thought Would Be Bad

Tropic Thunder

Best Film for Film Geeks

The Fall

Watch this visual feast and remind yourself, there is absolutely no CGI in it.

Most Over-hyped Film

The Dark Knight

Don’t get me wrong, it’s a very good flick, but it had some serious time issues and too much story. Nowhere near the masterpiece that some make it out to be.

Most Quotable Flick

Tropic Thunder

‘Never go full retard.’

Most Unecessary Remake

Made of Honor

Most Unecessary Sequel


It’s kind of like watching Lucille Ball doing slapstick in her seventies.

Best Margarita Movie


Actually, our first ‘in house’ margarita flick. Come on, what other film about George W. is going to have homo-erotic scenes. Thanks Oliver!

Most Pointless Film

Pineapple Express

Maybe the end had a point, but at the hour and half mark I was so bored I shut it off.

Film that Could Have Been So Much Better

The Changeling

Again, Eastwood takes a really cool story and drains the life out of it.

Worst Trailer

Beverly Hills Chihuahua

The first time I saw it, a part of my soul died.

Film I am Still Waiting Patiently to See


The Directors

Best Director (tie)

Andrew Stanton-WALL-E &Danny Boyle-Slumdog Millionaire

Worst Director

Diane English-The Women


Director Who Needs to Keep Making Movies

Tarsem-The Fall

Again, gorgeous fluid filmmaking.

Director Who Needs to Stop Making Movies

David Zucker

American Carol, Scary Movie 4, Scary Movie 3, My Boss’s Daughter. Nuff said.

The Actors

Best Actor

Richard Jenkins-The Visitor

Best Actress

Kate Winslet-The Reader

Best Supporting Actor

Robert Downey Jr.-Tropic Thunder

Best Supporting Actress

Penelope Cruz-Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Actor I Want to See More Of (tie)

James Franco-Pineapple Express/Milk, Josh Brolin-W./Milk

Actor/Actress I Never Get Tired of Seeing

Robert Downey Jr.-Iron Man/Tropic Thunder

Pray to the Gods that he stays sober!

Worst Actor

Kevin Farley-American Carol

Worst Actress

Angelina Jolie-The Changleing

What you want Angelina? ‘I want my son!!’

There, that’s the performance

Actor/Actress Who Needs to Go Far Away

Larry the Cable Guy

Seriously, what IS the appeal?

Best Performance by An Actor in a Mediocre Movie

Steve Coogan-Hamlet 2

Best Cameo

Benny & Bjorn-Mamma Mia

And All the Rest

Best Title

Slumdog Millionaire

Best End Credits

Slumdog Millionaire

Best Song

Jai Ho-Slumdog Millionaire

Saddest News of the Year

The news that John Waters was unsuccessful in getting funding for his Christmas Picture.

Best Red Carpet Moment

James Franco at the SAG Awards.

The bemused/disgusted look on Franco’s face when and interviewer asked him if it was hard to do the kissing scenes with Sean Penn was priceless.

Best Awards Show Moment

Angelina Jolie’s pissy scowl at every awards show.

You would have thought someone told her there were no more third world children to adopt.

Best Use of Special Effects

The Fall

Again, absolutely no CGI

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