One Film I Never Considered Seeing for a Moment(tie)
Witless Protection/Beverly Hills
Thank God Eli Roth took some time off this year or it would have been a three-way tie.
Most Enjoyable Flick
Best Guilty Pleasure Movie
There’s something very enjoyable watching Oscar winners/nominees shed there dignity with such abandon
Best Picture I Thought Would Be Bad
Best Film for Film Geeks
Watch this visual feast and remind yourself, there is absolutely no CGI in it.
Most Over-hyped Film
The Dark Knight
Don’t get me wrong, it’s a very good flick, but it had some serious time issues and too much story. Nowhere near the masterpiece that some make it out to be.
Most Quotable Flick
‘Never go full retard.’
Most Unecessary Remake
Made of Honor
Most Unecessary Sequel
It’s kind of like watching Lucille Ball doing slapstick in her seventies.
Best Margarita Movie
Actually, our first ‘in house’ margarita flick. Come on, what other film about George W. is going to have homo-erotic scenes. Thanks Oliver!
Most Pointless Film
Maybe the end had a point, but at the hour and half mark I was so bored I shut it off.
Film that Could Have Been So Much Better
Again, Eastwood takes a really cool story and drains the life out of it.
The first time I saw it, a part of my soul died.
Film I am Still Waiting Patiently to See
Best Director (tie)
Andrew Stanton-WALL-E &Danny Boyle-Slumdog Millionaire
Diane English-The Women
Director Who Needs to Keep Making Movies
Again, gorgeous fluid filmmaking.
Director Who Needs to Stop Making Movies
American Carol, Scary Movie 4, Scary Movie 3, My Boss’s Daughter. Nuff said.
Richard Jenkins-The Visitor
Kate Winslet-The Reader
Best Supporting Actor
Robert Downey Jr.-Tropic Thunder
Best Supporting Actress
Penelope Cruz-Vicky Cristina
Actor I Want to See More Of (tie)
James Franco-Pineapple Express/Milk, Josh Brolin-W./Milk
Actor/Actress I Never Get Tired of Seeing
Robert Downey Jr.-Iron Man/Tropic Thunder
Pray to the Gods that he stays sober!
Kevin Farley-American Carol
Angelina Jolie-The Changleing
What you want Angelina? ‘I want my son!!’
There, that’s the performance
Actor/Actress Who Needs to Go Far Away
Larry the Cable Guy
Seriously, what IS the appeal?
Best Performance by An Actor in a Mediocre Movie
Steve Coogan-Hamlet 2
Benny & Bjorn-Mamma Mia
And All the Rest
Best End Credits
Jai Ho-Slumdog Millionaire
Saddest News of the Year
The news that John Waters was unsuccessful in getting funding for his Christmas Picture.
Best Red Carpet Moment
James Franco at the SAG Awards.
The bemused/disgusted look on Franco’s face when and interviewer asked him if it was hard to do the kissing scenes with Sean Penn was priceless.
Best Awards Show Moment
Angelina Jolie’s pissy scowl at every awards show.
You would have thought someone told her there were no more third world children to adopt.
Best Use of Special Effects
Again, absolutely no CGI