Saturday, May 9, 2009

Margarita Movies: Mommie Dearest

Happy Mother's Day, everyone! To celebrate the magical and joyous bond of Motherhood, why not pop in one of the all-time best Worst Movies: Mommie Dearest. This is right up there with Xanadu in its extreme awfulness! You have Faye Dunaway, single-handedly killing her career so thoroughly that it still hasn't recovered over 25 years later, you have creepy kids making cocktails, you have unfair swim races, and you have dialogue... oh my, do you have dialogue! What's your favorite line?

"Don't f**k with me, boys! This isn't my first time at the rodeo!"

"I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at the dirt!"

"But I'm not ONE OF YOUR FANS!"

and, of course, "No Wire Hangers.... EVER!"

Does it get any better than that? The truly funniest thing to me is that poor little Christina comes off almost as someone you'd want to hit! Even when I see the actress (who played older Christina) in other projects (not too long ago, she even showed up on Lost!), I can't help but envision her getting bitch-slapped by Faye Dunaway.

And then I smile.
A little.

So make yourself a heaping Margarita, take that leftover steak out of the refrigerator, slather your face in cold cream, strap your little brother into his bed and enjoy the greatest Mother of them all!

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