Guest Columnist: Gianna's Best & Worst for 2008

The Best

Slumdog Millionaire

A practically perfect film. One of the few films this year that I walked away completely bowled over. Danny Boyle is fast becoming one of my favorite directors, with his wide directing range. Every scene in this film perfectly builds to it’s very satisfying end. Just brilliant.

WALL-E

Have I said lately how completely in awe I am with Pixar? As an animated movie junkie, I have grown so disheartened by the glut of slapdash animated films. Thankfully, Pixar seems committed to bringing gorgeously animated films that actually have a great story at the base. WALL-E does what Happy Feet wanted to do, but couldn’t-tell an environmental story to children. It does so by wrapping it around a beautiful little love story, and it never feels at any moment like it’s hitting you over the head with it’s message.

Milk

Milk could have very easily been a big message film, your typical Oscar bio-pic of (fill-in minority of your choice) rises up only to be shot down. Instead we have very human face put on Harvey Milk, showing who he was and not focusing exclusively on what he did. Van Sant expertly weaves documentary footage, with faithfully recreated scenes. Go watch the great documentary Times of Harvey Milk, (either before or after) and your appreciation will undoubtedly increase.

Man on Wire

One of the best documentaries I saw this year, a thrilling reminiscence of one man’s obsession. Like Touching the Void, you are on the edge of your seat-even though you full well know that everything turns out okay. Ultimately there’s something very uplifting that stays with you long after you’ve seen the film

The Fall
This film just blew me away! I am an unapologetic sucker for visually stunning films. Some of my favorite directors have incorporated stunning art direction into their films (Kubrick, Gilliam, Burton, Jeaunet & Caro). I loved Tarsem’s first film The Cell, which had some of the most creepy visuals I’ve seen in a long time. The Fall continues his wonderful visual style, while telling a very sweet story. What’s even more impressive is the director’s claim that not one CGI effect was used.


The Worst

The Women

I wasn’t sure if contemporary filmmakers could pull off the catty bitch-fest that is The Women, and I was right. What’s even more disheartening is that a good amount of the film is almost word-for-word recreations of the play and film. However, Diane English decides that she’s going to use the film to make a warm fuzzy comment on sisterhood in the 21st century. Sorry, this ain’t that film. Claire Booth Luce’s play is a vicious attack on the New York society women she encountered in the 30’s, not a ‘no matter what happens, I’ll always have my girlfriends’ story. Let’s be honest too, with all the strides we have made as women, we have all encountered this ‘type’ of woman. More obsessed with some other woman’s misfortune, gossipy, placing a premium on the men in their life. It’s like ordering a completely decadent dinner and then getting some meager Weight Watcher meal. Ick.

An American Carol

The biggest crime any comedy can have is to be completely unfunny and this film has it in spades. Even though I am an unapologetic ‘secular progressive liberal’ from the ‘evil’ state of Vermont, I would have no problem with a right wing comedy if it was actually funny. This one isn’t. In a nutshell-Michael Moore (well they call him Michael Malone, but really), wants to start a ban on July 4th. In true Dickensian fashion, he’s shown the error of his ways by our past political figures-JFK, George Patton, George Washington and Trace Adkins(Yup, Trace). At the base is the common (and obnoxious) notion that if you differ from the far right, then you’re clearly anti-American, immoral etc. etc. There’s also a completely ridiculous scene in which Bill O’Rielley (playing himself) is just as polite (yes POLITE) to ridiculous Mr. Moore. Yeah, this is a man who attacked the son of a 9-11 victim-just.don’t.buy.it. The film is so busy hitting you over the head with its message ‘Conservatives-Good, Liberals-Bad’, that it forgets to be funny. That’s more offensive than any of it’s idealogy.

Hounddog

The infamous ‘Dakota Fanning gets raped movie’. It’s just one long ugly depressing film. Over-done, over-acted and pointless. There’s a reason it went straight to video.

Expelled

The documentary about Intelligent Design, except it’s really not. I was expecting, and hoping that this little doc would actually make a case for why Intelligent Design, should be considered a valid scientific theory and not just Creationism wrapped up in a spanky new name. No it’s more a parade of people saying ‘I put my name on a Intelligent Design Webspace and now I lost my job.’ Which is a great kickoff point, but it doesn’t go much farther than that. Yes we can see the victims of the ‘Science Elite’, but we never hear anything to validate I.D. as a practical scientific theory.

Guest Columnist: Gianna's Year End Awards

Since the two of us don't get out much anymore - thanks to our beloved child - we're handing over the reins to share Gianna's thoughts about the year in movies that was 2008:

The Films

Best Picture(tie)

WALL-E/Slumdog Millionaire

Worst Picture

The Women

One Film I Never Considered Seeing for a Moment(tie)

Witless Protection/Beverly Hills Chihuahua

Thank God Eli Roth took some time off this year or it would have been a three-way tie.

Most Enjoyable Flick

Tropic Thunder

Best Guilty Pleasure Movie

Mamma Mia

There’s something very enjoyable watching Oscar winners/nominees shed there dignity with such abandon

Best Picture I Thought Would Be Bad

Tropic Thunder

Best Film for Film Geeks

The Fall

Watch this visual feast and remind yourself, there is absolutely no CGI in it.

Most Over-hyped Film

The Dark Knight

Don’t get me wrong, it’s a very good flick, but it had some serious time issues and too much story. Nowhere near the masterpiece that some make it out to be.

Most Quotable Flick

Tropic Thunder

‘Never go full retard.’

Most Unecessary Remake

Made of Honor

Most Unecessary Sequel

Rambo

It’s kind of like watching Lucille Ball doing slapstick in her seventies.

Best Margarita Movie

W.

Actually, our first ‘in house’ margarita flick. Come on, what other film about George W. is going to have homo-erotic scenes. Thanks Oliver!

Most Pointless Film

Pineapple Express

Maybe the end had a point, but at the hour and half mark I was so bored I shut it off.

Film that Could Have Been So Much Better

The Changeling

Again, Eastwood takes a really cool story and drains the life out of it.

Worst Trailer

Beverly Hills Chihuahua

The first time I saw it, a part of my soul died.

Film I am Still Waiting Patiently to See

Frost/Nixon

The Directors

Best Director (tie)

Andrew Stanton-WALL-E &Danny Boyle-Slumdog Millionaire

Worst Director

Diane English-The Women

Just.Plain.Awful.

Director Who Needs to Keep Making Movies

Tarsem-The Fall

Again, gorgeous fluid filmmaking.

Director Who Needs to Stop Making Movies

David Zucker

American Carol, Scary Movie 4, Scary Movie 3, My Boss’s Daughter. Nuff said.

The Actors

Best Actor

Richard Jenkins-The Visitor

Best Actress

Kate Winslet-The Reader

Best Supporting Actor

Robert Downey Jr.-Tropic Thunder

Best Supporting Actress

Penelope Cruz-Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Actor I Want to See More Of (tie)

James Franco-Pineapple Express/Milk, Josh Brolin-W./Milk

Actor/Actress I Never Get Tired of Seeing

Robert Downey Jr.-Iron Man/Tropic Thunder

Pray to the Gods that he stays sober!

Worst Actor

Kevin Farley-American Carol

Worst Actress

Angelina Jolie-The Changleing

What you want Angelina? ‘I want my son!!’

There, that’s the performance

Actor/Actress Who Needs to Go Far Away

Larry the Cable Guy

Seriously, what IS the appeal?

Best Performance by An Actor in a Mediocre Movie

Steve Coogan-Hamlet 2

Best Cameo

Benny & Bjorn-Mamma Mia

And All the Rest

Best Title

Slumdog Millionaire

Best End Credits

Slumdog Millionaire

Best Song

Jai Ho-Slumdog Millionaire

Saddest News of the Year

The news that John Waters was unsuccessful in getting funding for his Christmas Picture.

Best Red Carpet Moment

James Franco at the SAG Awards.

The bemused/disgusted look on Franco’s face when and interviewer asked him if it was hard to do the kissing scenes with Sean Penn was priceless.

Best Awards Show Moment

Angelina Jolie’s pissy scowl at every awards show.

You would have thought someone told her there were no more third world children to adopt.

Best Use of Special Effects

The Fall

Again, absolutely no CGI