Netflix Fridays: What are We Watching Now?

Wow - it's been a while. Let's see, since we last blogged:

We finished Battlestar Gallactica. The finale was a bit of a mixed bag, but on the whole the final season was stellar: exciting, fast-paced, full of lots of character-driven drama, even had a few jokes and moments of slight levity... basically what we felt was lacking in the previous seasons.

The Happening was wonderfully, horribly awful and I enjoyed every mintue of it!

I discovered a new wonderful Cary Grant movie, People will Talk.

We started Dexter Season 3, but have had to wait a Bible's length for Disc 2.

Psych is a throroughly enjoyable - if very silly - way to spend your time.

Flash of Genius is quite possibly the most depressing "feel good" movie ever made.

The $5 movie bin is a foul temptress, and Grease 2 now resides in our movie collection. Margaritas anyone?

Coming up this week, we're looking forward to screenings of Alfred Hitchock Presents, which in my opinion is the perfect thing to watch on these cool, dark evenings of early Autumn. We also have Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room on its way, a documentary sure to make Sean angry and me depressed. Que sera sera.

Next week we're on vacation and plan to spend the majority of it cruising our way through the entire series of The Vicar of Dibley. Until then...

Netflix Fridays: What are We Watching Now?

So, Nixon sucked. Out loud. And for all 3 1/2 hours. Sucked. How it ever got any Oscar recognition is beyond me. Anyhow, here's what's up:


The Happening - One of last year's worst movies comes to our doorstep. Margaritas will be involved. Having thoroughly enjoyed many of his earlier movies, I had hoped the M. Night could get his Mojo back after the disastrous Lady in the Water, but as it seems that is not the case - I can giddily enjoy his downfall from afar.





Dexter: Season 3, Disc 1 - Tom got us hooked on this show which sports the amazing Michael C. Hall. He just blows me away in this show. The rest of the cast is stellar as well. Seasons One & Two were wonderful, funny, and tension-filled and I'm hoping they can keep up the quality for a third straight season.






Battlestar Galactica: Season 4.5, Disc 2 - OK, I want major recognition that we had the first disc in our house for all of 24 hours before it was watched and nestled safely back in its envelope. That has to be a personal record for us. Then this morning I hear a bout a Gallactica movie in the works, plus a new Spin off, Caprica, starring Eric Stolz. Sorry,m BSG, we'll make it through the series, but that's were I get off. You're good, but I'm just not invested in your characters enough to keep on watching.

Margarita Movies: Mommie Dearest

Happy Mother's Day, everyone! To celebrate the magical and joyous bond of Motherhood, why not pop in one of the all-time best Worst Movies: Mommie Dearest. This is right up there with Xanadu in its extreme awfulness! You have Faye Dunaway, single-handedly killing her career so thoroughly that it still hasn't recovered over 25 years later, you have creepy kids making cocktails, you have unfair swim races, and you have dialogue... oh my, do you have dialogue! What's your favorite line?

"Don't f**k with me, boys! This isn't my first time at the rodeo!"

"I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at the dirt!"

"But I'm not ONE OF YOUR FANS!"

and, of course, "No Wire Hangers.... EVER!"

Does it get any better than that? The truly funniest thing to me is that poor little Christina comes off almost as someone you'd want to hit! Even when I see the actress (who played older Christina) in other projects (not too long ago, she even showed up on Lost!), I can't help but envision her getting bitch-slapped by Faye Dunaway.

And then I smile.
A little.

So make yourself a heaping Margarita, take that leftover steak out of the refrigerator, slather your face in cold cream, strap your little brother into his bed and enjoy the greatest Mother of them all!

Twilight, it's the Awesomest Movie Ever!

From Guest Writer Gianna Fregosi:

Fans of Vampire flicks...this is not the movie for you. What do you get if the Disney Channel decided to make a tween-goth love story-Well you would get Stephanie Meyer's idiotic anemic vampire love story Twilight. If you thought you were going to get a dark, menacing, atmospheric love story, this is not the flick for you. If, however, you want to see a brooding pretty boy vampire with all the menacing danger of a bunny rabbit this is the movie of your dreams.

Kristen Stewart plays Bella, new transplant to the overly cloudy town of Forks, Washington. Instantly she is mesmerized by the oh-so-lovely Cullen family, well make that Edward Cullen (Rob Pattinson), super-dreamy and unattached to boot!

After the expected series of conflicting interactions with Edward (He hates her, He likes her, He hates her etc.), and odd occurrences: he save her life by stopping a truck with his hand, his eyes keep changing color, Bella uncovers Edward's true identity-vampire. This realization doesn't seem to bother her at all, no it intrigues her.

Edward finally admits who he is and shows her his true self. Thought vamps burned up in the sunlight? No, silly, that's a myth (along with just about every other piece of established Vampire-lore). Edward doesn't burn up in the sunlight-he sparkles! Of course now that pretty vampire boy is also pretty sparkly vampire boy-how can Bella resist.

This leads to some pretty inane dialog Ed:'So the Lion fell in love with the lamb.' Bella: 'Stupid lamb.' Ed: 'Stupid masochistic lion.' We also get the 411 on Edward's 'family' they're vegetarians, meaning they don't feast on humans only animals. It's all so wonderful and harmless, who wouldn't want to hook up with a vamp?

Of course since this is an 'epic' love story there has to be conflict. Edward decides to take Bella home to meet the folks. Ever wonder what Ozzie and Harriet would be as vampires, Carlilse and Esmee Cullen are the answer. They welcome Bella in with open arms, make an Italian dinner ('She must be Italian, her name's Bella) and invite her to the family baseball game. It's at the baseball game that we run into a different kind of vampire family, they don't live by the same code as the Cullen's and want to snack on Bella. Even though they leave, Edward knows that they aren't going to rest until they've 'snacked' on Bella. This leads to a cross-country escape, with a climatic scary moment and finally ends with Edward taking Bella to the prom.

The problem with Twilight, is that it has no teeth so to speak. The Cullen vampires are so wholesome and sweet that never once do you feel like there is an element of danger. That's why Meyer's brings in the 'bad' vamps, which is easier to digest than having Edward pose any sort of a threat. When you strip away all elements of danger and conflict, well vamp Edward is about as exciting as a moody Goth boy. I have no problem with rewriting vampire-lore, Joss Whedon has done this to great success. However, it seems Meyer's stripped away everything vampiric about Edward to make him into the perfect teen heartthrob. And that's just boring. Of course this film and book series has legions of fans who go ga-ga over it and Will tell you 'It's the awesomest movie!', and if you're 12 years old, and a girl, I'll give you a pass.

Margarita Movies: Xanadu

Perhaps the cream of the crop when it comes to "Bad Movies We Love" would be 1980's musical extravaganza, "Xanadu." Improbably starring Olivia Newton-John as a heavenly muse sent to Earth to help open a roller-derby disco, this movie has it all: atrocious acting, bad special effects, a rocking soundtrack featuring ELO, Gene Kelly (in his last screen appearance) on roller skates... Hell, it even has an animated sequence for no reason! And if that doesn't tempt you, ask yourself this: where else are you going to see a bird in leg warmers? Uh huh, I thought so!

The "story" centers around frustrated painter Sonny Malone, laughably portrayed by Michael Beck. You may remember him from his future appearances on "Murder She Wrote," "Diagnosis Murder" and "Walker, Texas Ranger"... no? ... oh, OK. Anyhow, his job re-painting album covers in large format doesn't "inspire" him anymore. Enter Olivia - because what better use of a daughter of Zeus than to inspire a frustrated painter to open a roller disco palace? Makes sense to me! Unfortunately, poor Sonny doesn't have any money, either. Enter Gene. Poor Gene is a washed up, but still wealthy, jazz musician whom Olivia had helped "inspire" 40 years earlier. He's lost his vision since Olivia left him, so what better way to get it back than enter into a shady deal renovating an abandoned warehouse with a shiftless artist who you met hours earlier on the beach? Makes perfect sense to me!

The film just continues to spiral into a cocaine fueled train wreck from there. Despite past encounters with Da Vinci and Michelangelo, Olivia's muse somehow falls in love with the vest-wearing Mr. Malone, and he must take on Zeus himself to win her. Wacky shenanigans, bad montages of trying on outfits (a staple of any 80s film), and much, much rollerskating follows. Needless to say, all ends well for love. Wish we could say the same for the viewer. So next time you're in the modd to get really drunk, watch a screen icon shed all his dignity and credibility for one last paycheck, and get impossibly catchy, late-era disco songs stuck in your head for weeks, this little beauty will be there.

They call it Xanadu.

Hoo-ah!

OK, my wife covered that it is Oscar night. So, I'm covering... Hoo-Bingo!... Scent of a Woman.

Yes, we viewed this God-awful movie again last night with drinks in hand. We tried to play a Hoo-Ah! drinking game but couldn't keep up.

For those unfamiliar: Al Pacino, in an Oscar-winning turn, plays a cantankerous ex-military recluse with an unsettling familiarity with the women's perfumes and soaps. He drags a prep-school weekend caregiver out for his last hurrah, (stay at a nice hotel, see his brother to apparently piss him off, screw a hooker and kill himself).

Here's what kills me about this movie: people see it as a prestige picture. Not only do they like it, they think it is a high-quality film (not even a movie, a film). What is wrong with people?

Why if I were the man I was five years ago, I'd take a flamethrower to this script! Here is some of the actual Oscar-nominated dialogue:

"Her number tastes like Albany."
"He drives so smooth you can boil an egg on the engine block."
"You're in no position disagree with me, boy. I got a loaded .45 here. You got pimples. "
"You've got integrity Charlie. I don't know whether to shoot you or adopt ya."
"Mmm. Legs. I don't care if they're Greek columns... or secondhand Steinways."
"...there isn't nothin' like the sight of an amputated spirit. There is no prosthetic for that."

And, of course, my personal favorite:
"I can't chew the leather anymore. So why should I share in the tribes provisions? I mean,
there's no one... wants to tear a herring with me anymore."
What the F**K does that mean!?!?!?!

Seriously, there's at least 10 other quotes that I omitted because I didn't want to take up too much of your time. Plus, you really should be drinking to read more of them.

Don't get me wrong, this movie is hilarious. Pacino's performance is so hammy, even Christians can't watch it during Passover.

But how can it be acclaimed? It's not even something that people look back on and say, "well, at the time we thought it was good... but now?" No. I talk to people about Scent of a Woman and they are all up in my grill: "That's a great movie! Pacino is fantastic in that!"

Is it because we live in a Wal-Mart America where crap is hailed? Is it because of the best publicity campaign ever? I don't know. It's a mystery, wrapped in a riddle, wrapped in a Hoo-ha!, and dipped in Jack Daniels.

Either way, it's a great margarita movie. And if you love this movie: re-watch it. Seriously. You need to revisit this with fresh eyes.

Hoo-Bingo!

The Second Best Awards Show of the Year

One of the best things about the Oscars, it that it comes hard on the heels of the Razzies! The Golden Raspberry Awards honor the Worst of filmdom every year the day before the Oscars pick the best. It's always fun to peruse the year's nominees. There's always the easy choices (nominating Paris Hilton for worst actress for "The Hottie and the Nottie?" Doesn't she have to be considered an "actress" for that to work? Did that "film" even play in any theaters?) but the real fun is seeing what current or former scared cows have been taken down a few pegs. Perhaps the most notable example was when Halle Berry was nominated for Worst Actress for "Catwoman." She "won" that year and actually showed up to accept her prize - a move which has endeared me to her for life.

This year's nominees feature a pretty good walk down bad memory lane... remember "The Love Guru?" Remember how atrocious Pierce Brosnan's singing was in "Mamma Mia?" Still trying to reattach your retinas after seeing the "Speed Racer" commercials? Or trying to reattach your jaw after seeing Shia LaBouf swinging on vines through the jungle in "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull?" Aaaah, the precious memories just come flooding back.

Bad movies definitely have their merits. Many know that Gianna and we have our own bad movie circle where we get together and watch what we've dubbed, "Margarita movies." You see, with enough alcohol, "Battlefield Earth" might be the best 2 hours you've spent with a film! And the most satisfying of all Margarita movies come when it is an Oscar winner (and there's more than you might think.) This Razzie night, we will be observing "Oscar Eve" with a viewing of Al Pacino's Best Actor-winning turn in "Scent of a Woman." We hope we're not too hungover to prepare for the party the following day.

"Hoo Bingo," indeed.